i went to the sunday feast last night. got there around 5:30, so i got to listen to chants and also the talk by param about defining the self within community before kirtan.

i do have a great deal of respect for buddhism, but i’m not really a buddhist; at the moment i’m religiously agnostic, and happy to be so. i feel the need for exploring ideas and beliefs, as i only possess a very limited amount of knowledge in so many different things in life. i hope to be able to have/form my own philosophy of life one day, but without the tunnel-vision effect. there’s a difference between being flexible with understanding and without. i guess i fall into the latter category at the moment, but would definitely prefer to be in the former - as soon as i can.

my first encounter with the local hare krishna community was through my friend brendan. we were both searching for something that we couldn’t quite clearly articulate; we were very much interested in buddhism, so when he was still in brisbane, we were kind of “spiritual buddies” and discussed about and experimented with lots of different ideas together. i still very much miss those days. one day brendan started to go to yoga classes at the loft (right next to govinda’s - now the loft is used as a gift shop and the yoga classes are held at atma yoga) and soon enough to the weekly sunday feast and Bhagavad-gita classes. i often joined him to yoga and sunday feast. although a lot of people tend to be rather prejudicial towards the hare krishna, i believe there are many things that you can learn from the religion and the people. regardless of concepts like political correctness, egalitarianism and so on, it’s sad to see people’s automatic reaction towards certain concepts, one of many behavioural patterns generated by the generally unquestioned social belief systems.

“I always believe that it is much better to have a variety of religions, a variety of philosophies, rather than one single religion or philosophy. This is necessary because of the different mental dispositions of each human being. Each religion has certain unique ideas or techniques, and learning about them can only enrich one’s own faith.” — The 14th Dalai Lama

in terms of religion, the closest i’ve ever got to the point of complete agreement was probably with zen buddhism - i think it’s largely because of its clarity, applicability, practicality, and very importantly, proscribing of blind submission. i don’t know too much about any religion but with those i’ve experienced so far, i’ve been pretty much ambivalent - in almost every case, there are some + and - aspects. the hare krishna is not an exception. but is that an adequate reason to be or not to be there? i don’t think so. i don’t believe in totalizing views on learning - it’s really not an “all or nothing” situation, well, for me anyway. i value learning and as i get older, i feel even more strongly about the importance of believing in oneself and exploring the world; it’s very easy to get lost, yet the fear of being lost shouldn’t be the reason for trying to remain in one spot or to go back to the spot/s you’ve already been to.

anyway, back to the sunday feast. after dinner (and such a yummy one too!), zoe (whom i met through a friend’s friend a long time ago but got to know a bit better at govinda’s) asked me what brought me to the sunday feast, and she further asked “is it the dancing?” i’d never thought about it up until that point - well even when i was asked, i couldn’t think thoroughly, so i gave her a pretty boring answer, which was truthful yet still boring: i like listening to the talks, i like the atmosphere, and yeah, i don’t mind singing and dancing. but really, i only come to see you :p

well, it’s true. i like all of those aspects. i get to think about and question certain things while listening to the talks, and i do enjoy the happy atmosphere there, especially during kirtan. it’s pretty uplifting to experience the joy of letting go and being happy mentally and physically. as the buddha once said, every existence endeavours to be happy and avoid sufferings. and i really appreciate the people there. of course zoe has such an amazing air around her, which makes me feel happy just to be around her; and with other people there, who sometimes teach me yoga, serve me food, and share different notions and emotions through conversation or just being together in the same space, i feel no harm and certain that they are really genuine people. so all these elements together make the experience very positive. i feel good - through learning, feeling, and enjoying. i guess this is what draws me to the sunday feast and generally to the hare krishna community. anyway, off to a lecture now.

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