being a tourist
went to yoga last night.
deeply in love with yoga and Atma Yoga.
tanya and i sat with two other girls at dinner after our wonderful yoga class and started chatting. one of the girls asked tanya what she did for living; naturally she seemed to be quite impressed with what tanya was doing with her project and etc. it was all good and smooth until the girl turned to me and asked,
“so, are you just on a holiday here?”
tanya and i looked at each other. i smiled. so did she.
nearly two of seven australians are foreign-born; the asian population makes up about 6% of the entire australian population. but looks can be deceiving. of course. my yellow skin (or golden, some like to call it) still says something about me that i’m not aware of. something beyond me. something almost intrinsic. something of which i can’t decide the importance.
the truth is, i didn’t mind. i wasn’t offended. i didn’t feel upset. i was just surprised. that’s all. unfortunately the girl seemed to be rather embarrassed. i missed the chance to make a joke to quickly move on. split second. such an awkward situation. i couldn’t say or do anything about that other than smiling. she made a comment about how good my english was, and we moved on happily. i should’ve been more aware. and i should’ve been quicker and smarter to handle the situation before she felt embarrassed.
i went to govinda’s for lunch with lovely oksana today. and one of the things we talked about was how i felt when i went to korea a few months ago. i told her that i’d learned a lot about my own culture, and how my experiences had led me to re-examine myself as a korean-born, half-australian-grown female. i find asia so exciting. i may not know much about my own culture but i’m an asian, and i feel so lucky that i’m “naturally” given a chance to be a part of such a wonderfully exciting culture. but i do remember the time when i used to hate my asian identity. being harrassed and abused for my own body made me feel helpless and angry. i don’t feel that way at all now, but sadly, there are so many people still threatened and suffering from racism occurring both externally and internally of each individual.
a whlie ago i had a conversation with brendan and robbie over some seriously “hey-i-am-a-block-of-chocolate” type of italian hot chocolate. brendan wondered if austarlia would ever get to have an asian prime minister, to which robbie replied, “possibly. but after you guys have a female prime minister. before that, you can think of it as an impossibility. first, it’ll be be the gender barrier, then the racial.” i’m not sure why, but i concur.
money. education. race. sexuality.
poor uneducated non-caucasian queer women.
who’s the object? who’s the subject?
tourists are never busy.
April 3rd, 2006 at 12:39 pm
Hmmm…
Now Jaz - what is it with this ‘yellow’ garbage?? I’ve never understood that at all. I don’t think ‘golden’ is the right description, either. Why not just “goregous nutty, never has to worry about looking like a pasty computer nerd in a swim-suit”?? If only we were all as lucky!
April 4th, 2006 at 12:39 am
haha! i wish we were all vividly multi-coloured.
red, blue, hot pink, fluorescent green, orange… endless possibilities!
it’d be so exciting to have a baby. everyone’d be so curious to find out what colour the baby is; the first questions wouldn’t be “is it a boy or a girl?,” but more like “is it apple green or pooey yellow?” :D
oh, geez. i just saw that crazy tofu burger photo on your blog. and i’m, err, i’m… laughing at myself. i’ll send that one to my friends and family in korea. i must!
April 4th, 2006 at 10:47 am
Now Jaz…
You’ve obviously never annoyed your teachers quite enough. Or perhaps you’ve just never been sick and twisted enough to notice all of the strange colours human beings turn if you get them wound up just right. I had this maths teacher - Mr Parker - who would go from white to red to white to kind of puce right before he exploded over our bad behaviour. It was really rather impressive. And then there’s my brother - who goes from ghost white to fluorescent pink after 20 minutes in the sun. Ohhh - and of course there’s you… I saw your cheeks go red after 2 beers!! We know which lovely nut-coloured girl gets red from alcohol!!
Someone needs to do a photographic series on the strange colours of humanity. I’ll let them know when I feel really sick. GREEN!! Honestly! I never believed it - but people really can turn green. Around the lips especially after a really good bout of food poisoning.
:-P
April 10th, 2006 at 6:01 pm
Hi Jaz. I’m glad you weren’t offended or annoyed, but (and part of the reason i’m bothering to leave my 2 cents worth is to prove that i looked at your blog ;p) I’m at least moderately peeved on your behalf. This sort of stuff falls into the category of ‘modern racism’ or ’subtle prejudice’ for me … (i can dig references out of my honours thesis if you (or anyone else) are curious about these … basically scales that were developed when people started learning it was socially unacceptable to be racist, but didn’t manage to achieve a level of self awareness whereby they actually questioned their beliefs … kinda interesting to look at them)
I’m not saying the girl necessarily had bad intentions, but ignorance is still annoying to me.
Anyways, hi :-). Thanks for the heads up to your blog.
April 12th, 2006 at 9:57 am
hi daniel. thanks for coming and leaving a mark! :)the concept of “modern racism” sounds really interesting. how you incorporated the idea into the psychology of gaming? i’m most curious! i should have a chat with you when i could catch you on a less busy day - which might be a long way away. you seem very busy all the time. hope everything’s coming along smoothly-
April 12th, 2006 at 9:58 am
lucy- that’s a great idea. we should really work on that idea. i’d love to have a series of such photographs. seriously!
April 12th, 2006 at 5:26 pm
Hey Jaz and Daniel -
Well - ignorance is annoying. But I think that, sadly, there are a lot of people in the world who have never had the opportunity to be friends with Asian people or Asian people who have grown up in Australia. For people who have not had an opportunity to live in a really multicultural community I think that it is true that ‘racism’ is a bit of an abstract concept. I often find myself wondering about African Americans, for example. I am curious - I would like to meet a few and find out how they are different from other people or the same as other people, how they think of themselves etc. - but I live in Australia so I haven’t had many opportunities. If I accidentally asked an African American a really dumb question because I’m ignorant (and I admit I am, see above) I would hate it if their first reaction was ‘this person is racist’. Uninformed or mis-informed but open minded isn’t the same as racist, I think. I think its the same with any group you haven’t been exposed to - gay or lesbian people, indigenous people, Asian people, Europeans.
And, Jaz - if it makes you feel any better - whenever I go to China people stare openly at me on busses and trains and in the local markets. In the countryside even though they know I speak Chinese they will often ask the Chinese person I am with questions about me rather than addressing me directly. People make assumptions about my sexual habits, my eating habits, intelligence (or lack of it) all the time. And I think the only constructive way to respond is by attempting to understand the situation and accepting their curiosity, rather than feeling annoyed or angry. Even if it is a) bloody annoying; and b) rather exhausting!
The photos - seriously - that is a brilliant idea. Do you really think it is racist to notice that cold Chinese babies have very red cheeks? Or that ‘white’ people with bad fake tan are orange?
Different coloured skin is beautiful and can be so visual and textural. It would be a shame if we all had to pretend that those differences didn’t exist. I think, anyway. I don’t think noticing differences is the same as being racist.
April 12th, 2006 at 10:48 pm
absolutely, lucy.
noticing differences is what makes life more interesting, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
and the racism non-asian people experience in asian countries is sometimes worse than the other way around. i totally agree. but i must admit that i was pretty annoyed when some people simply made the same assumption that i was here to find a man when i said i was trying to get a visa.
i don’t believe in racism at all - and i really think that races should mix. and of course “culture mix” is one of the most exciting concepts for me. once someone told me about faeries and i remember feeling so amazed and delighted. up until that moment, i had never thought anything about faeries. i missed my chance to ask more about them, but if i could, i would probably have to start with very simple questions that would make me sound really dumb. i guess it’s the same with people.
i’ve googled “modern racism” and now i’m certain that what i experienced at yoga was indeed a form of “modern racism.” and as daniel said, it was a very unconscious prejudicial behaviour, which was a result of various discourses in operation in her past and present life.
re: photos. i think we can do some really cool stuff in photoshop as well. and no, i was making a joke when i called you a racist. i should stop making this kind of joke. it seems to genuinely confuse people. sorry! m(_ _)m
April 13th, 2006 at 8:19 pm
What???! Jaz! You mean you have a sense of humour??!!
:-P~~
April 16th, 2006 at 1:31 pm
oh, i might as well… get one today :p
June 28th, 2006 at 6:05 am
I like your site
June 29th, 2006 at 11:29 pm
Great website! Bookmarked! I am impressed at your work!
June 30th, 2006 at 5:14 am
May we exchange links with your site?
July 4th, 2006 at 2:00 am
Your home page its great
July 6th, 2006 at 5:18 am
HI! I love this place!
July 6th, 2006 at 6:48 am
Your site is very cognitive. I think you will have good future.:)
July 6th, 2006 at 3:03 pm
Hello Jane, great site!
July 6th, 2006 at 7:24 pm
Your home page its great
July 11th, 2006 at 4:53 am
I just don’t have anything to say right now.
July 13th, 2006 at 2:04 am
Very good site. Thanks for author!
July 13th, 2006 at 8:59 pm
I’m really impressed!
November 1st, 2006 at 11:41 pm
sspkts65 Very good site. Thanks for author!
June 21st, 2007 at 6:22 am
gaping preteen assholes…
w5fyNt0 | gay web cam sites …
July 26th, 2007 at 6:03 am
Very good site. Thanks:-)
August 16th, 2007 at 1:01 am
young teens nude webcams…
LuvBAt0 | clips girls webcams …
August 23rd, 2007 at 4:40 am
hot guy webcam…
2gIiut0 | free online live webcams …
September 18th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
9/18/2007 6:38:06 AM
Moving Supply
October 7th, 2007 at 7:24 pm
10/7/2007 4:25:38 AM
Alcoholism treatment center
November 15th, 2007 at 8:25 pm
strip poker online gratis strip poker game online strip poker online…
…
November 15th, 2007 at 11:37 pm
kostenlose casinospiele…
Ebenfalls kostenlose casinospiele kostenloses online spiel…
November 16th, 2007 at 1:13 am
computer poker game…
Suma juego del poker libre bonus poker…
November 16th, 2007 at 6:15 am
meilleures promotions en ligne…
Réfléchirà sito poker download poker…
November 18th, 2007 at 5:39 am
poker bonuses…
…
November 21st, 2007 at 12:07 am
giochi casino denaro virtuale casino virtuale gratis…
…
November 22nd, 2007 at 5:33 am
casino gioca…
Tre casino’ on line slots game download…
December 8th, 2007 at 11:53 pm
siti poker…
Always poker gratuito premio pagina web…
December 9th, 2007 at 5:47 pm
apply online for credit card apply online credit card instant apply for sears credit card online…
I start with blackjack game play blackjack…
December 9th, 2007 at 9:17 pm
casinos internacionales portal…
Ein kostenlose kasino spiele online kasino spiel…
December 11th, 2007 at 1:40 am
juego al instante linea…
Elegir top casinos en ligne pai gow poker online…
December 15th, 2007 at 6:24 pm
frei spiele…
Dal internet poker giochi giochi online…
December 19th, 2007 at 7:03 pm
advance cash overnight overnight cash advance…
Consider cash advance loan utah loan payday software…
December 25th, 2007 at 4:09 am
advance cash loan loan payday…
Perhaps advance cash loan loan payday guaranteed no fax payday loan…
January 20th, 2008 at 7:14 pm
jxrHd1 hi great site thx http://peace.com
January 26th, 2008 at 2:42 am
sävellettävät soittoäänet…
Him advance cash loan online first american cash advance…
January 26th, 2008 at 4:11 am
instant online guaranteed cash advance credit card…
Mais advance cash day loan pay omaha poker règles…
January 30th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
polyphonic ringtones t720…
If nokia 1100 keypress ringtones info nextel remember ringtones…
February 2nd, 2008 at 5:06 pm
pre teen pageant gown
February 2nd, 2008 at 5:13 pm
gospel music ringtones…
Any number of bollywood mp3 ringtones download download free ringtones crazy frog…
February 2nd, 2008 at 6:26 pm
download free midi polyphonic ringtone…
Choose free midi polyphonic ringtone country file free midi music…
February 2nd, 2008 at 6:27 pm
pay day cash advance advance cash day loan pay payday…
No loan payday toronto advance cash overnight…
February 3rd, 2008 at 11:07 am
free ringtones for us cellular cell phone…
Just like free ringtones for a nokia cell phone free downloadable cell phone ringtones…
February 5th, 2008 at 4:27 am
free ringtones for nextel phone…
Indeed free ringtones for nokia phone ringtones for cellular one phone…
March 3rd, 2008 at 5:35 am
94WAnA nice site thx http://peace.com
March 3rd, 2008 at 8:52 am
sweet site i like you 10x
March 6th, 2008 at 11:33 pm
good site dude
March 8th, 2008 at 3:28 am
bad credit guaranteed loan payday…
Hi advance cash overnight payday loan cash advance loan…
March 8th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
advance cash fax no payday…
Similarly cash advance credit card best payday loan…
March 22nd, 2008 at 7:09 pm
haha great vid man gonna share this to my buddies. Nice work! http://my.mashable.com/tube8
April 4th, 2008 at 6:32 am
buy some soma i soma buy
April 30th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
download casino games…
As a summary of poker software development free video poker…
April 30th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
internet poker game…
As you see cartas linea jeu la roulette…
May 2nd, 2008 at 2:48 pm
strategia poker…
Consider regolamento roulette strip poker on line…
May 2nd, 2008 at 5:28 pm
nextel ringtones com nextel mp3 ringtones…
Unhappily maquinas poker game blackjack…
May 3rd, 2008 at 2:54 am
five card draw poker…
No matter beste online casino juegos flash poker…
May 3rd, 2008 at 3:55 am
loan payday yahoo…
Applying for free casino cash bonus code mac online poker…
May 4th, 2008 at 2:51 am
party poker party poker com…
Am jack black sound board visa credit card application status…
May 4th, 2008 at 6:44 am
low interest rate credit card…
Cominciare america bank card credit online omaha poker spielen…
May 4th, 2008 at 9:20 am
sicheres online spielen…
Rate online casino slot send ringtones to your phone…
May 4th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
advance cash fax no payday…
Complete advance cash on line free casino card game…